Working Parents and Career Break Returner Blog Series
The challenges and solutions in this blog series are around how to be a career professional and parent and succeed at both, preparing for and overcoming career break return challenges and how to progress your career when you are ready.
Part 2: Career Break Return Success
All names have been changed in the working examples provided to protect client confidentiality
The infamous Juggle
In the latter five years of my career at The Criminal Bar, I started a family and became all too familiar with the so called “juggle” between work and family life. What struck me reflecting on those experiences was that even within the same family, circumstances change. Deciding on the right approach to a career break return, in particular when it comes to childcare options, requires a combination of creativity, flex and review.
No One Size Fits All
With my first child, I returned to full-time work after six months, before I felt ready, with the support of grand-parents and nursery care. This was due to financial considerations and not wanting to step out for too long in case my career progression was hindered and fearing the so called ‘maternity penalty’.
With my second, I increased maternity leave to twelve months. I returned when I was in a better position to do so, full time nanny in place.
By child number three, I was ready for an extended period of maternity leave, which I had no interest in before.
These three, and very different, scenarios serve to illustrate that no ‘one size fits all’.
The career return/ working parent challenge
I’ve heard it said on countless occasions that those working part-time can often end up in a situation where there is an expectation that they do their normal full time work simply in less hours. It is imperative then that from the outset, lines of communication are open with the managers and leaders in organisations so that there is a clear understanding of how you and they define and practically implement the term “flexible working”. This can differ wildly depending on the sector, company or organisation in which you work.
Communication is key
Communication is key – both verbal as well as written.
There is an increasing number of law firms paying more than lip-service to the needs of parents returning from maternity leave for whom I deliver career-break return coaching.
The Confidence Conundrum
These female lawyers commonly experience a lack of confidence resulting from changes in:
- the day to day work, ordinarily second nature, but which becomes more burdensome after an extended period away;
- technology and personnel whilst away from the office;
- priorities concerning their next career move, how that looks, and in what direction.
Confidence may be at a low ebb, wanting to get back into the swing of things, at a manageable pace. I’m all for getting your ducks in a row.
Damaging Dialogue
However, I frequently hear damaging internal dialogue around not being good enough (good old “imposter syndrome” creeping in, as some people like to call it) and feeling the need to prove something.
Additionally, there are practical challenges around time management, productivity, and the need to establish clear boundaries.
Productivity Positives
However, my experience of career break returning and returners, both personally and professionally as a coach, is that when parents have to leave at 4.30pm to fulfil nursery collection for example, they simply HAVE TO leave. The positive consequence of this is our productivity within the hours actually in the office increases immeasurably. That said, in an age when digital distractions have become both reality and the norm, there are certain things which can be put in place to better manage a return to work.
Reassuring commonality of challenge
All of these challenges are common place.
Clients can be reassured that they are not alone. How to manage and overcome the challenges is another matter.
7 Strategies to overcome common career break returner challenges
- Consider childcare options. Can childcare be shared equally between parents? Does the cost of external childcare outweigh part-time working opportunities? Is flexible working available? What are your childcare preferences?
As my career break return client, Jo, said, she had intricate childcare arrangements to put in place to support a return to work, so setting boundaries was important to facilitate a four day week, with a 5pm latest finish, and possibly accommodating a day or two working from home.
That brings me on to the more tricky matter of communicating it to your organisation.
- Communicate clearly with leaders and managers in your organisation, both verbally and in writing, so that they not only hear what it is you are communicating to them about back to work expectations but more importantly that they understand
Learning to say no can also be an important part of the communication piece.
Career break returner Anya provides a great example as she felt she was being pushed too much by her managing partner immediately on her return. She learned quickly the need to get her priorities in order, time manage, establish boundaries, learn to say no, and communicate this effectively to her boss so that he not just heard but understood.
- Use Keep in Touch (KIT) days during maternity leave, or a phased return, to upskill on technology and current working practices, network within new teams and gradually ease back in. This way you can break the ice on a career break to avoid the significant pressures to be expected of a “hard” return.
Lucy, career break returner, had to cope with a new area of law on her return, together with new technology, a new environment and personnel since the team had not only expanded but also moved floors to accommodate the growing numbers. It was a lot for her to take in, but she found useful her Success Board to boost her confidence and maintain her focus on the more overwhelming of days.
Similarly, another Career Break returner at the same firm, Kim used as many of her KIT days as were available to her to get ahead of the game, get to know people again and feel more integrated so she could hit the ground running on her return and maintain her visibility within the firm should she wish to quickly pick up her career progression and business development activities again, as opposed to leaving things to the last minute then feeling overwhelmed on her first day back.
- Align yourself with and listen to the shared experiences of a supportive “team”: an empathetic boss, a friendly colleague, inspiring role model, coach or mentor for example. This way you will realise your experiences are completely normal, not unusual and most importantly, not insurmountable.
- Plan and prioritise. It’s absolutely essential that you have the ability to not only plan your day in terms of the priorities you have, and the order in which to tackle tasks, but also to have a clear ability to categorise tasks into important, urgent, not important and not urgent, as Stephen Covey does in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. His best advice is to “Put first things first.”
- Be present. Once categorised, tackle each task in a manner that allows you to be fully present in it to maximise focus and time. Likewise, make life easier for yourself where you can, by avoiding digital distraction.
- Reframe unhelpful internal narratives. Examine whether your habits and behaviours help or hinder your levels of personal confidence. Do you listen to, and are you influenced by, unhelpful negative internal chatter? Whatever the internal chatter, it is important to manage your own state to give the appearance of external control and confidence. How can you adopt a more positive mind-set and use correspondingly positive, empowering language?
Try Tony Robbins’ 10 Day Mental Challenge to start you off, and see the rewards it brings.
For more information on this, and the career break returner and working parent coaching services on offer, please email info@nikkialdersoncoaching.com.
Nikki Alderson Biography
Nikki Alderson, specialist coach, speaker and author, and former Criminal Barrister with 19 years’ experience:
- supports organisations, law firms and barristers’ Chambers to retain female talent; and
- empowers female lawyers to achieve career ambitions.
Nikki specialises in 3 areas:
- Women leadership transition and change;
- Enhanced career break returner support; and
- Workplace resilience, mental toughness, confidence and wellness.
She is the author of Amazon No.1 Bestseller Raising the Bar: empowering female lawyers through coaching, (https://amzn.to/3fodKQX) nominee for the Inspirational Women Awards, Champion of the Year Category and finalist in the 2020 Women in Law Awards, Legal Services Innovator of the Year and 2019 International Coaching Awards, International Coach of the Year Category.